That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
