I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
