I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
