just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Send help, water and tortillas.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?