i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.