You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So much rum. So many feels.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
