Tell her she can't have a vagina
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
