The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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