If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
