do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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