I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
