Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
