i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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