how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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