sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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