Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
