dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize