Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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