so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
