It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
