I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
