Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
