saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Use "feeling words"
Yay
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
