Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
