yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
