"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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