Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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