we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
