And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
