So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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