if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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