You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Randomize
