they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
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The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
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I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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