I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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