dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
