I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
