Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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