eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
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was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
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I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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