Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
