Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
