The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
