After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
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You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
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You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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