Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
