I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
