omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
