i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The best revenge is premature balding
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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