I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize