I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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