singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
