you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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