He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
