everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
