She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
