So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
