Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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