We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
