your thong is hanging out like whoa
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
