i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
