i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
