so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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