I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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