i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
