I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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