Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
