He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
