Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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