I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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