That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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