i don't like sucking hair
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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